An incident occurred to me today that has reminded me of my past history of date offering, (and receiving). Literally though, I mean offering a piece of dried fruit to someone. That being said it is usually with the cute connotation of the alternative meaning of the word which is to go out on some sort of romantic expedition but sometimes I just PUNch it out as a joke because I love puns and puns are the best way to slyly put that idea out there so why not???????????//???/ .lol.
As for being asked for a date (the verb) I think I have been blatantly ‘asked out’ only twice in my life that I can remember. My first date was pretty cute actually. I was 15 and got this text asking if I would like to come to Scienceworks. It was perfect actually, there was an amazing special Music exhibition with one of those giant keyboards you play with your feet you see in cartoons, and remote controlled flying whales! We didn’t see the fake stars cos it was too expensive but he bought me an orange juice and a sausage roll (man my diet has thankfully changed since then!)
As for the other time I was asked out, I was 16 and it was 10 at night, under the orange lit flinders street steps where all the emos hanged out. And this gross guy who was going out with a friend I met at a gay youth group who thought she was a warewolf asked me to go out with him and yeah it was actually in shock, I didnt know what to say so I said yes. But don’t worry, I didn’t mean it, and I never saw him again.
So I have asked ‘wanna date?’, dried fruit in hand, on three different occasions now. (I would never ask ‘wanna date’ without the fruit by the way haha I don’t think it works that way it should just happen) For my own amusement I have awarded each action accordingly;
Number 1: Best dialogue
Something I learnt from my dad, I do steal dates whenever I go to the supermarket. They’re so overpriced and I always go straight for them and eat a few while I’m shopping, sometimes I save some for later. This is how the pun first began. After shopping for supplies, I thought to make this offer. This is how the conversation went:
‘sure, could be regular’
‘nice and sweet’
‘I bit my lip”
‘I bit my lip’
Hahahahahaa the last comment was so off guard I did not register it and had to hear it again. What an interaction lol.
Number 2: Most awkward reaction
This instance we were in the supermarket and I thought it would be funny to offer a date to my friend since we had sex that morning. Doing my thing, I took a few dates and asked him ‘wanna date?’ he just took it literally and just rambled on saying something like ‘oh yeah people actually go on dates yeah I do date actually yeah okay’ haha he may have missed the pun, I think I did ask him without him seeing the physical play on words I was offering but I thought it would be funny and it was!
Number 3: Best reaction
This time I actually bought a bag of dates and offered one to my friend.
-No verbal response, he just opens his mouth and waits. hahahaha! Number 3 knows the history of my date offerings, and man he is hilarious. Best response out there. Wanna date? mouth open and ready! lol
Anyway the incident that happened tonight was something different.
I was cooking chai downstairs for my band, and I love putting unconventional ingredients in chais. So I was just going to put some dates in my chai and then lovely hug guy says ‘can I have a date?’
I know that’s normal, you see someone with a bag of dates, dates are yum, ya ask for one. But I like him and we have lovely vertical cuddles (hugs) and that pun is dear to me and I was really caught off guard because I was just passing by and the date request was unexpected. So I responded sureee, with a meaningful pun look on my face, and he put his hand in my date bag and gave me a wink as he ate it. Hahaha! It definitely counts as one of the date moments. This time somebody asked me for the date! That’s one for the blog!
We’ll see if I can get some horizontal cuddles with this one, I like him but I also like heaps of other guys that give good cuddles. He’s not a housemate but a housemate’s friend. So not as bad as it could be, though I do like half the housemates here haha (not too intensely)
Man its nice living with 5 guys again. Distracting, though!
Thanks for reading, would be funny if you were one of the date recipients reading this. haha who knows, again anyone let me know if this content is entertaining or just for my own amusement.
It is officially 4:20am, goodnight!