Wanna Date?

An incident occurred to me today that has reminded me of my past history of date offering, (and receiving). Literally though, I mean offering a piece of dried fruit to someone. That being said it is usually with the cute connotation of the alternative meaning of the word which is to go out on some sort of romantic expedition but sometimes I just PUNch it out as a joke because I love puns and puns are the best way to slyly put that idea out there so why not???????????//???/ .lol.

As for being asked for a date (the verb) I think I have been blatantly ‘asked out’ only twice in my life that I can remember. My first date was pretty cute actually. I was 15 and got this text asking if I would like to come to Scienceworks. It was perfect actually, there was an amazing special Music exhibition with one of those giant keyboards you play with your feet you see in cartoons, and remote controlled flying whales! We didn’t see the fake stars cos it was too expensive but he bought me an orange juice and a sausage roll (man my diet has thankfully changed since then!)
As for the other time I was asked out, I was 16 and it was 10 at night, under the orange lit flinders street steps where all the emos hanged out. And this gross guy who was going out with a friend I met at a gay youth group who thought she was a warewolf asked me to go out with him and yeah it was actually in shock, I didnt know what to say so I said yes. But don’t worry, I didn’t mean it, and I never saw him again.

So I have asked ‘wanna date?’, dried fruit in hand, on three different occasions now. (I would never ask ‘wanna date’ without the fruit by the way haha I don’t think it works that way it should just happen) For my own amusement I have awarded each action accordingly;

Number 1: Best dialogue
Something I learnt from my dad, I do steal dates whenever I go to the supermarket. They’re so overpriced and I always go straight for them and eat a few while I’m shopping, sometimes I save some for later. This is how the pun first began. After shopping for supplies, I thought to make this offer. This is how the conversation went:

‘wanna date?’
‘sure, could be regular’
‘nice and sweet’
‘I bit my lip”
‘what?’
‘I bit my lip’
‘oohhh’.
Hahahahahaa the last comment was so off guard I did not register it and had to hear it again. What an interaction lol.

Number 2: Most awkward reaction
This instance we were in the supermarket and I thought it would be funny to offer a date to my friend since we had sex that morning. Doing my thing, I took a few dates and asked him ‘wanna date?’ he just took it literally and just rambled on saying something like ‘oh yeah people actually go on dates yeah I do date actually yeah okay’ haha he may have missed the pun, I think I did ask him without him seeing the physical play on words I was offering but I thought it would be funny and it was!

Number 3: Best reaction
This time I actually bought a bag of dates and offered one to my friend.
‘wanna date?’
-No verbal response, he just opens his mouth and waits. hahahaha! Number 3 knows the history of my date offerings, and man he is hilarious. Best response out there. Wanna date? mouth open and ready! lol

Anyway the incident that happened tonight was something different.
I was cooking chai downstairs for my band, and I love putting unconventional ingredients in chais. So I was just going to put some dates in my chai and then lovely hug guy says ‘can I have a date?’
I know that’s normal, you see someone with a bag of dates, dates are yum, ya ask for one. But I like him and we have lovely vertical cuddles (hugs) and that pun is dear to me and I was really caught off guard because I was just passing by and the date request was unexpected. So I responded sureee, with a meaningful pun look on my face, and he put his hand in my date bag and gave me a wink as he ate it. Hahaha! It definitely counts as one of the date moments. This time somebody asked me for the date! That’s one for the blog!

We’ll see if I can get some horizontal cuddles with this one, I like him but I also like heaps of other guys that give good cuddles. He’s not a housemate but a housemate’s friend. So not as bad as it could be, though I do like half the housemates here haha (not too intensely)
Man its nice living with 5 guys again. Distracting, though!

Thanks for reading, would be funny if you were one of the date recipients reading this. haha who knows, again anyone let me know if this content is entertaining or just for my own amusement.
It is officially 4:20am, goodnight!

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First Post (Finally!)

So this is my first blog post, and this is me sifting through what ever tree of thought pops up first in the vast forest that is my mind, trying to verbalise solid paragraphs and stick to the trunk when there are so many branches and twigs of tangents that divert from the centre in all directions. Plus all the thought trees are connected by an underground network of mushrooms that is my subconsious. I think I also just described how neurons fire in the brain… thoughts and neuron action all in the same.

So I have had a lot of mushrooms recently, which has smashed my reality back into Inception again. I have really have come down to believing that nothing in physical reality is really real. That I don’t exist. As in the concept of ‘I’ as a separate entity to ‘you’ or ‘that’ or anything else is a false assumption made for the survival of this avatar body. To me life right now is but a clever illusion, and I like this little dream I’m in. And if it’s all just an inflection of my mind then why would I choose to ever hold on to negative emotions like embarrassment or shame? Why would I care what other people think of me if they’re just a part of me? Just sections of my subconscious to reflect upon and interact with in this realm. So yeah I’m letting go of that assumption that I will be vulnerable if other people know my deepest personal feelings because I love to express myself and don’t want any reason invented by myself to block me from doing that!
so BAM I’m starting this blog!

I really just want to get the ball rolling with this and actually have some content on here. Not just have this empty link that I created 7 months ago, high on coffee and the adrenaline of the full moon and PMS at the McDonalds in St. Peter’s. I had this niggly feeling to babble on about my life because I was so uncomfortable with it at that point in time. When I feel like I have wronged myself I like to write about it, admit it to me and it somewhat makes me feel better. I had missed the full moon ritual I was invited to that evening and table dived pizza before having a muffin and coffee and staying out from the dodgy squat I was crashing in where I was in Sydney. And in my life, food is the epitomy decider for my mood. I ended up a bit lost there 10 days after leaving Vipassana in the Blue Mountians after the second day.

Gotta say I’m in a MUCH better position in life now after slowly unaddicting myself to sugar, and getting back into creating and loving myself again.
The story of that journey is long and I may word it out in another post.

Something that did come to mind recently is what I did after failing vipassana, I was internally laughing about the other day at a Drum and Bass party.

So this is me:
Goes to vipassana, leaves after two days and dances so hard at Drum n Bass party people ask if I sell MDMA and then I have sex with this random 20 year old.

So yeah, the first thing I decided to do after sitting around, struggling to meditate in the mountains for two days is to dance crazily for 5 hours to some really loud intense high energy music in the city. So crazy, I try to be still and focus in and then I leave and do the exact opposite. And there I randomly picked up a 20 year old and took him back to the squat for birthday sex! But because there were people writing hi-tech and smoking bongs in the living room, I made him stay out with me in the dusty shed! haha he was so like wtf about going in a dusty shed, I have no idea how I got him to not care about it, because he was weirded out. I set out my tent flat as a tarpy thing and had a sleeping bag for warmth.
His name was Chandra, Nepalese. And he makes and sells souerkrout at some local markets near the city in Sydney. Yum souerkrout! part o my Czech heritage. He was a lovely person actually, we talked really easily to each other and spent a long time doing that because he couldn’t actually keep it up. He only ended up at my place because we were both by far the most high energy dancers at the club, and we just had to feed off each other with our dancing and then we made out exactly when the vocals in the music was singing ‘you’re beautifulllll’ hahaha! And then I started talking to him and I found out it was his birthday and I was like you have to come back for some birthday sex haha thought too ridiculous not to do. He was out with friends had to call them to say bye and he had work selling sauerkraut the next day haha.

Still don’t get how I was so charged and dancing that night, two people asked me if I sold MDMA. I thought I would of been really unfit after not really exercising for a while, directly after two days of eating lots and sitting and doing nothing. Must have been the music in contrast to the silence of the days before. Music has soo much influence over my mood, just like food.

Anyway it’s so late now, I hope to have entertained you! I plan on sharing a lot more crazy stories as well as philosophy / personal life views / food blogs / art and music stuff too! If you have any reactions to what you just read please comment them out to me. Let me know what you think!

Good night!