It’s officially July 2009 and you know what that means!  Colder weather and warm doonas?  The raging and insatiable desire to eat all chocolate within a 1 kilometer radius?  Trying to figure out why “July” still evokes painful memories in me of sweltering Colorado summers, even though I’m in the southern hemisphere?  Well yes, all of these things are correct, but more importantly, July marks my having lived one WHOLE year in Australia!  I’ve learned heaps about this glorious, glorious land in the last 12 months and wanted to share with you some of my discoveries.  So, without further ado, I give you the First Annual Dirt Warrior End of the First Innagural Year of My Landing in Australia List of Things that I Really Like About this Country:

10.  Favourite Live Australian Act: Gurlesque

Formed by duo Sex Intents and Glitta Supernova in…THE YEAR 2000, Gurlesque is a favourite in the queer scene.  With shows that feature a fantastic host of performances, dancing and side-splitting comedy, these monthly acts aren’t to be missed.  I’ve been to two of these shows now and have had a spectacular time at both.

Sex Intents & Glitta Supernova of Sydney's Gurlesque

9.  Favourite Australian Sporting League: Sydney Roller Derby League

So I might be a little biased with this choice, as I am a skating member and I’m doing my research on the sport, but as Sydney’s first all-female flat-track roller derby leauge, the SRDL is fast, frantic and painfully hot.  Lucky for you, tickets for the last bout of the season (July 19th) are still on sale so you won’t miss out!

8.  Favourite Australian Music Groups:  I had a really tough time singling this catagory to a palatable four choices and the mixed results were chosen on how many times I play a certain track by a certain group per day, the “ass-shake” factor of said track (especially while in the car) and how giddy and retarded I get while listening to said artist.

Architecture in Helsinki: Apart from having a HUGE crush on the lady singer of Melbourne-based band Architecture in Helsinki (I think it’s the super sultry way she whispers “can you give me that…” in the single That Beep) my love for AiH stems from the bubbly, sugary-sweet pop/funk/synth energy of the group and the inevitable giddiness that listening to them brings.

Gotye: I was absolutely besotted with Melbourne-based Gotye’s single Heart’s a Mess when I first heard it some 6 months ago, and I still listen to the song once a day.  Haunting, lyrical and evocative of that certain…something, he is an artist that I’m glad I didn’t miss.

The Presets: This Sydney-based dance punk duo came screaming into my life via my girlfriend’s ringtone, as has settled in the cockles of my heart ever since.  Check out “Yippiyo-Ay”, “Talk Like That” and “My People” for some fantastic dance grooves.

Bertie Blackman: I was able to see Bertie Blackman live (and free!) at a hotel in Darling Harbour some time ago and fell in love with her Sia-like (another favourite Aussie artist) rasp and throbbing drum and bass lines.  Getting your hands on her CD outside of Australia (legally) is pretty tough, but worth it if you have the extra cash laying around.

7.  Favourite Australian Festival: Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras

The largest Pride parade in the world, with enough sequins and glitter to bedazzle Oxford street for weeks (I’m still finding glitter in places that glitter ought not be).  Camp and glam aside, the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras is also a well-known platform for political and civil rights for the GLBT community and has gained world-wide fame for bringing hot, pressing GLBT issues to the masses since the late 70’s.

6.  Favourite Australian Pub: The Townhall Hotel, Newtown NSW

Sure it’s a little rough around the edges, the juke-box selections…”unique” and the odds of being racked by a drunkenly mishandled cue stick high, The Townie is still the best pub to be while in Newtown.  Unfortunately many of my more memorable stories of this place are not suitable for public Internet consumption, but I urge you to make your own memories over a schooner or two.  Just make sure to bring your ID, or you might find yourself walking back to St. Peters for it.

5.  Favourite Australian Beer: Coopers Sparkling Ale

Rich, a tad bitter, golden and bottle fermented this tasty little number packs a punch at 5.8% ABV that leaves you (sometimes) a bit groggy in the morning, but fondly recalling every golden minute.  Pairs nicely with pub burgers, roller girls and hot summer evenings.

4.  Favourite Australian Animal: Drop Bears

In Australia, there is a nation-wide inside joke regarding a fictional koala-like marsupial called a “Drop Bear” that is said to haunt the forests of Australia, ready to drop on and savagely maul unsuspecting victims below. Being the gullible dork that I am, I fell for the story for about a week (after, of course, confirming the validity of the story to every Australian that I knew) before taking it upon myself to do a little research.  What did I find?  Well, you’ll never see me walking through the bush without my handy Drop Bear Umbrella ever again!

3.  Favourite Australian Lingo: “Off your tits”

Used primarily as a description for being wildly drunk, this phrase has many an application.  None that I can think if right now mind you, but they’re there.  Trust me.  A close second in this category was this phase (as spoken by an Aussie); “No I don’t know which home is yours!”.

2.  Favourite Suburb in Sydney:  Newtown/St. Peters

Though I did spend the better part of a year in the northern suburb of Marsfield, I’ve always had a special place in my heart for King Street, Newtown and the Inner West.  The Coloradan in me can appreciate the Boulder-esque feel of the throbbing op-shop lined street, thronged with pierced and tattooed students and suited business people alike, while the newly christened gay in me loves the active lesbian nightlife and being able to walk down the street hand-in-hand with my girlfriend without getting funny looks.  Now that I live within a reasonable bike ride from the heart of this great little suburb, I have the feeling I’ll fall in love with it even more.

1.  Favourite Australian:  Ms. B.A.H.

For being lovely in everything that she does, and for possessing infinite amounts of patience with me, even when I’m being a total bastard.  Her kindness and dedication to others, daily inspires me to be a better person.  I would have long since quit and gone home without her support and for that I am eternally grateful.  My dear, if I could offer you the world, I would.

]]> http://wittyblogname.wordpress.com/2009/07/10/these-are-a-few-of-my-favourite-things/feed/ 0 DirtWarrior gurlesque drop-bear king street Thug http://wittyblogname.wordpress.com/2009/04/01/honeyi-have-something-to-tell-you/ http://wittyblogname.wordpress.com/2009/04/01/honeyi-have-something-to-tell-you/#comments Wed, 01 Apr 2009 00:35:48 +0000 Dirt Warrior http://wittyblogname.wordpress.com/?p=1326 ]]>

An additional warning: it is in really poor taste to “break up” with your fantastic (gorgeous, amazing, funny, awesome, super-mega smart, hot) derby-playing girlfriend in the name of an April Fool’s Day prank.  Hopefully my black eye will fade in a couple of weeks. 

Glitter, sequins and hot chicks on skates.  A typical Saturday arvo practice session with the Sydney Roller Derby League?  WRONG!  The 2009 Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras parade!

This year I was lucky enough to be a participant in the parade (my first LGBT event of it’s kind) with the SRDL, glammed out with gllitter, a black eye and missing teeth.  The theme?  Global Derby Domination (featuring the logos of leagues throughout the world) and Derby Damage, complete with bloody nurses and beaten derby gals.

Immediately before we descended onto a pub en mass

All geared up and ready to roll

2 Ton Teyla and Aprilla the Hun show us why we love them so

Just wait until next year.  Sydney won’t know what hit it…

]]> http://wittyblogname.wordpress.com/2009/03/18/dont-make-me-go-all-derby-on-your-ass/feed/ 1 DirtWarrior group-2 group teyla-and-april http://wittyblogname.wordpress.com/2009/03/17/a-heartfelt-message-to-family-and-friends-back-home/ http://wittyblogname.wordpress.com/2009/03/17/a-heartfelt-message-to-family-and-friends-back-home/#comments Mon, 16 Mar 2009 15:00:52 +0000 Dirt Warrior http://wittyblogname.wordpress.com/?p=1314 ]]>

I have the coolest girlfriend in the world:

Damn Australians and their feminine wiles…

1. The start of the semester!

2.  Probably plans for staying in Australia for the next 2-4 years!

3.  Art exhibitions, burlesque, meetings, Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras and gut-wrenching fear!

4. Summer of Scrimmage III – Ninjas vs. Pirates!  (GO NINJAS!)

5.  Other shenanigans of undisclosed awesomeness!

During my trip to Vietnam I realised with great excitement that my camera has a panorama feature.  This feature doesn’t “stitch” together the images, but does leave a ghost image on the screen during shots for optimal stitching action after you’ve shot the photos.  Being the total nerd that I am, I finally found a free (and fantastic!) stitching program that has me googly with delight at the panoramic goodness I’ve been able to produce.  So, for your viewing pleasure:

Wings: Sydney Opera House, New South Wales

Temple: Ninh Binh, Vietnam

Night Safe: Newtown, New South Wales

Town Hall Crossing: Sydney, New South Wales

Tasting Room: Berry, New South Wales

Steel, Harbour Bridge: Sydney, New South Wales

Wynyard Station: Sydney, New South Wales

Shoalhaven River: Berry, New South Wales

Roof: Siem Reap, Cambodia

Temple: Hue, Vietnam

Northshore and Harbour Bridge: Sydney, New South Wales

Sydney, New South Wales

Limestone: Ninh Binh, Vitnam

The Townie: Newtown, New South Wales

River: Ninh Binh, Vietnam

Two Figs Vinyard: Berry, New South Wales

CBD and Harbour Bridge: Sydney, New South Wales

All I Wanted Was a Kiss at the End of the Day: Newtown, New South Wales

Harbour and CBD: Sydney, New South Wales

Art: Newtown, New South Wales

Gane: Newtown, New South Wales

Hyde Park: Sydney, New South Wales

Reclining Buddha: Nha Trang, Vietnam

Botanic Gardens: Sydney, New South Wales

Bayon Facade: Siem Reap, Cambodia

Bayon: Siem Reap, Cambodia

Sunrise over Angkor Wat: Siem Reap, Cambodia

Blue Mountains, New South Wales

I have the coolest friends on the face of the planet:

Means taking a break from coding field notes (30% of which involves compulsively checking Facebook and reading blogs on roller derby erm…I mean, “doing research”) and slapping up some links!  I’ve been rather shocked at the comments I’ve received (offline, you cowards!) from friends and family asking when I’ll be bringing back the “weekly round-up” posts.  Sadly, I’m far too unreliable to do something weekly, but I will do whenever-I-want -to round-ups of stuff that’s caught my eye.

In the “what in the holy hell?!” department we have a couple of doozies, the first (thanks to Nick for passing along this gem) from the Neuticles website.  Admittedly I laughed myself stupid the first time I looked at the web-site and have alternatively scratched my head and peed a little for every subsequent visit.  Call me callous, but really?  Really?!  Does Fido care?  Do we have irrevocable evidence that this sort of procedure helps the psychological damage done to animals by routine neutering?  Is there any psychological damage in the first place?!  Ahh well, at least I have something really fun to look at when the world gets ole’ DW down.  Well, that and the American Cornhole Association site. (Juvenile? Oh yes. Also, pull that stick out of your ass.)

Me too!

The second goes to J&D for the fantastically ingenious bacon lip-balm.  Truly the worlds most amazing cosmetic.

In a world of conflict between differing schools of beauty (and what the hell does that even mean?!) the Adipositivity project shines.  This is taken directly from the sites front page:

The women you see in these images are educators, executives, mothers, musicians, professionals, performers, artists, activists, clerks, and writers. They are perhaps even the women you’ve clucked at on the subway, rolled your eyes at in the market, or joked about with your friends.

I for one think the site is beautifully done and while I don’t necessarily condone a push for all plus-sized models, it is nice to see all shapes and sizes being portrayed in a way that showcases the humanity of the model.  Plus, the photographer is a fan of okonomiyaki and any lover of okonomiyaki is a friend of mine.  In the same vein, Myra Medible of American Sexuality writes a fantastic article on big butts and the sneaky little cultural nuances therein.  I was particularly fond of this gem:

It may well be that America’s butt fling signals a growing acceptance of difference-a desire to broaden the repertoire of acceptable body types and beauty myths. If this celebration of fulsome booty helps women move beyond the self-hatred and anxiety attached to body fat or encourages ethnic pride in women whose bodies have historically been pathologized and denigrated-then power to the butt, indeed.

Indeed!  I wish I would have stumbled upon this article while taking my Commodities and Culture course last semester.  It would have been a riot to research a paper on the commodification of the ass (and by default, fat).  I’m serious.

But really, in the end I’m going to side with Brother Ali (a Muslim, albino rapper) when he said:

Dependin’ on the day, and dependin’ on what I ate,
I’m anywhere from 20 to 35 pounds overweight.
I got red eyes, and one of ‘em’s lazy,
and they both squint when the sun shines so I look crazy.
I’m albino man, I know I’m pink and pale…
I’m not the classic profile of what the ladies want.
You might think I’m depressed as can be,
But when I look in the mirror I see sexy-ass me.
And if that’s somethin’ that you can’t respect then that’s peace.
My life’s better without you actually.
To everyone out there, who’s a little different,
I say, “damn a magazine, these is God’s fingerprints.
You can call me ugly but can’t take nothin’ from me.
I am what I am, doctor, you ain’t gotta love me.”

I’ma be all right, you ain’t gotta be my friend tonight (you ain’t gotta love me).
An’ I’ma be okay, you would probably bore me anyway (you ain’t gotta love me).

Time for sex!  Oh you knew it was coming.  (Word of warning: I’m really not censoring myself in this post, so if snarky comments regarding things of a sexual nature from an adult long beyond the age of consent offend you, you should probably never read my blog again.)

Wendy Atterberry of The Frisky (best. blog. ever) writes a delightfully cheeky response to a Men’s Health article “Make Her Fantasies Come True”. The handful she shoots down are absolutely hilarious (and spot-on) and I decided to follow (read: copy) her lead by creating my own responses:

3. Mow the lawn in jeans and no shirt so I can play desperate housewife from the window.
Then come inside smelling of fresh-cut grass, sweat, and pheromones, and make love to me on the dining-room table.

90% of the men I’m interested in would probably horrify the neighbours by prancing around the front yard with hot-pants and no shirt.  Guys, you can look just a sexy with that sweat-stained t-shirt still on.  Besides, what’s not hot about stripping you out of your clothes?  And what’s not hot about having a woman at you like a rabid drop bear, trying to get said sweaty clothes off of you?  That’s what I thought.

7. Read up on sex.
There are books on boinking that are worth the embarrassment of buying them. Like Ian Kerner’s She Comes First, for example. It’s a guide to giving oral sex so well that your partner will insist on cooking you blueberry pancakes the next morning. Yes, you’re an amazing lover already, but Kerner has a Ph.D. for a reason.

They have a Ph.D. program in oral sex?!  Sign me up for that!  And I can’t cook worth a crap so honey, make your own damn pancakes.

10. Ask to take black-and-white photos of me naked.
I want you to, but I’m not so cocky as to suggest that my body could be a work of art. That’s why I need you to do it for me. Bring it up after we’ve had sex. Tell me that the curve of my hips needs to be immortalized. Then, one rainy Saturday night, produce a bottle of wine and a camera.

It’s gonna take far more than one bottle to convince me to let you take photos of my no-no bits, no matter how many sweet compliments you whisper in my ear.

And so on and so fourth.  I pity the fool who takes these seriously.  Then again, I feel the same sort of head-shaking shame for the women’s magazines that offer the same kind of advice to the tune of “how to please your man in 50 different steps!” one of which will inevitably include circus-worthy contortion performances that only lead to awkward Q&A sessions with your doctor.  And chiropractor.  Moving along.

“Worried about your partner’s bedpost notches?  Get over it!” says John DeVore.  While I tend to agree with this on principle, it’s the aversion to the Itch N’ Scratch out there that does make me worry about a partners notches (that and why they have a knife so close to the bed.  Har har har.)  I did dig this though:

Personally, I love a “slut”, someone who knows what they want, who goes for it, who never apologizes, but who learns from experience. I also appreciate full-disclosure. And anyone who doesn’t live their life like they are making it up on the go is lying to themselves.

I can appreciate the art of self-gratification, so too can the masterminds behind Babeland and the oh-so-sleek SaSi – the Wii/iPod of pleasure-toys.  Not only does this puppy have a sexy little design, it is programmed to remember what you’ve done before, just like a real lover!  Hopefully.  If it wasn’t for the $100+ price tag, I’d be all over this like…well, you get the idea.

Also from The Frisky, Simcha brings us an absolutly fascinating piece on male lesbian sexual fantasy.  The reader comments about bisexuality and the semantics thereof are interesting to say the least.  Really – if you click no other link on this post, click that one.

On that note, one last link for you to chew on (it’s not bacon flavoured though, for shame).  I’m off to adventure.  Or sleep.  Mostly sleep.

Oh, yes and my new digs:

IT’S HERE!!!

I’m going to try something different this time around in regards to holiday photo sharing; a slide show. It’s pretty simple, you can manually choose a photo to view from the bottom of the large gallery image, page through each image with the arrows at the top of the gallery view screen or simply wait for the next photo to come up.

Here we go!

The first city I stopped at was the large, northern city of Hanoi. It was here that I fell into a gutter, was side-swiped by a motorbike and was pick-pocketed within 24 hours. It was a glorious time!

The second city was Ninh Binh, well known for its natural limestone formations called Tam Coc and quiet back-roads, perfect for cycling.

The third stop was the central coast town of Hue:

The fourth was the beach-town of Nha Trang:

And my final stop, Ho Chi Minh City:

I spent the second half of my holiday in Cambodia, where I met up with an old friend of mine from Japan. Apart from being a fantastic travel companion, it was nice to see Angkor with someone that you already know.

My first stop was Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia. Located about 6 hours by bus from Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon), Vietnam. I was to spend a couple of days there before meeting Mark in Siem Reap, the “gateway” to Angkor.

Phnom Penh is a busy little city with a notorious reputation for violent crime and all manner of unsavoury activity. Like many travel related rumours, I found this to be completely untrue (and I got to mucking around some pretty dodgy areas, alone at night and didn’t feel too unsafe).

My first stop in the city was the Tuol Sleng Museum and Killing Fields of Choeung Ek. Formerly Tuol Svay Prey High School, Tuol Sleng was converted into Security Prison 21 (S-21) by Pol Pot’s security forces in 1975. It was the largest detention and torture centre in the country at the time and nearly all of the prisoners at the facility were tortured and transported to the Killing Fields for extermination. The rusty metal beds and black and white photos of victims on said beds (you could match the patterns on the head/foot boards to the ones in the photos) were a horrifying reminder of Cambodia’s past and the dark side of us all.

Ankle irons used to chain detainees to bed frames and each other

The Killing Fields of Choeung Ek were an equally grim reminder, featuring a beautifully constructed stupa housing some 9000 human skulls. Most of the skulls exhibited some manner of blunt force trauma; a convenient Khmer Rouge killing tactic to save expensive bullets. It is estimated that 17,000 people were killed here between 1975 and1978. Excavation of the mass graves still continues.

After this sober reminder of humanity at its worst, I took a stroll through Psar Tuol Tom Pong or “The Russian Market” and headed back to my part of the city for dinner and sleep.

The next day I took a nice, leisurely stroll through the Royal Palace, home to the internationally renowned Silver Pagoda, so named for its floor – covered with five tonnes of silver tiles. The 90 kilo, solid gold, life-size standing Buddha (crusted in 2086 diamonds including one weighing in at 25 carats) and the smaller but no less impressive jade Buddha, carved from an enormous chunk of (you guessed it) jade, were also impressive. Unfortunately, no photos were allowed inside, so you’ll have to trust me when I say that they kick much ass.

The Royal Palace

One of the many flowering plants around the complex

My next stop was the national museum with its fantastic collection of Angkor period art (again, no photos allowed) and a stroll around Wat Phnom.

The next day I was off again to Siem Reap for 7 days of fabulous Angkor goodness.

Unfortunately, I didn’t feel terribly compelled to keep comprehensive logs of temples/places we visited in Siem Reap, so I’m going to try something new on this blog for multiple photos – a slide show. Click the thumbnails below the gallery photo to select a particular photo or just sit back and watch them go by.

As you can see, many of the temples had vastly different architectural styles and construction.

Cambodia offered more than beautiful temples, the Khmer people were friendly, gorgeous individuals:

And the colours and textures from markets to homes was at times overwhelming:

All in all it was a fantastic holiday and I would certainly encourage those who can, to travel to Vietnam and Cambodia – it is well worth it.